Tikkun and stuff...in the shower

Hey everybody.

The past few weeks have been packed with simchas and echoings of good news abounding. The first two weddings in a series ( so far, six) of weddings of contemporaries of mine happened, and they were amazing. Way back when I posted about how I had some sort of mental block regarding weddings; I couldn't - no matter how hard I tried - make myself get into the spirit of the moment. Thankfully, though, I was able to really throw down at these past two events. Who knows? Maybe it's because these are not only friends of mine, but they're my age, and we came up together in yeshiva and whatnot; maybe it's the subliminal realization that it's almost my time, and I'm constantly on display....

In other news, one of the post Israel guys who is back in yeshiva in Jersey with me just got engaged, and it looks like my roommate is next, God willing. As for me? My mom's taking names, but I told her that Chanuka is the starting point unless it's something too good to pass up.

So, last night was one of the weddings. After we returned, sweaty and exhausted, the line for the shower formed. I take very quick showers, but last night was a doozy.

I stepped in to the shower, and turned the water on. After a quick rinse, I grab my shampoo bottle and flick it open with my thumb. Because I didn't shield it with my hand, a tiny blob of shampoo went flying straight into my right eye. I didn't realize what had happened at first; all of a sudden, my vision got blurry. Then, the pain started. I swear, I've never felt such pain in my life. The burning sensation was at a maddening intensity as I struggled not to panic and rub my eye. When such things happen, you have to keep your eye open and flush it out with water, which wasn't easy at all. Every time I closed my eye, it would hurt more, and when I immediately opened it, it hurt even worse!

I realized after a few minutes that my lips were trembling and little sobs were escaping. I was crying! I don't remember the last time I cried from pain. It took me several minutes to compose myself and stumble from the shower. I bumped into things because I couldn't see, and I now have a big bruise on my shin. To add insult to injury, when I staggered out of the bathroom, everybody just laughed ( I did, too, but only much, much later...).

Laying in bed, with the puffiness still there, and my eye throbbing, I thought about the event. Nothing happens by chance; not even something as seemingly inane as this. God was sending me something to use as a tikkun; obviously, I've used my eyes to do sins. Maybe this was God's way of helping me atone in this world.

That is one of the reasons for pain, isn't it?

I felt comforted by that thought. It helps to have a reminder of His presence.

If only it didn't hurt as much, though....

Originally posted Tuesday, 28 November 2006