So, you're all probably sitting on the edge of your seats, wondering where I've ended up for shabbos. Let me assure you, I indeed found a place in New Jersey, by relatives of mine, and am currently typing this entry on their computer. It's funny, because originally the place I was gonna go to was Morristown, but because I hadn't heard from the guy who was supposed to work it all out, I opted instead to indeed go to Passaic. Once I had already commited to going there, only then did I get a call from the guy, telling me to cancel, because a baal teshuvah from Jerusalem, formerly known as the Guru of Central Park was staying there for shabbos, and I had to meet him. Sadly, I has already made the arrangments, and couldn't back out. I would have loved to meet him, and maybe on Sunday I'll get that chance......
In the meantime, Jake and I made up to meet in the city ( Manhattan, for all you hicks out there....:P), at that world famous , renowned for it's culinary delightful entree's, venue of fine cuisine Dougie's. The train into the city was running late, and contrary to common sense, I drank two snapples on the train. Thus, when we finally arrived at Penn Station, I made a bee line for the bathroom.
When it comes to public bathrooms, the standard strategy of leaving one urinal between yourself and the next guy ( ladies, you can ask your brothers, husbands, fathers, or any male you'd like, he'll either blush or explain....), can become moot, due to the sheer numbers of people needing to take care of business.Obviously, the pressing urge "to go" will override even the most intense level of discomfort, and annul any inhibition..... The back up strategy is to either stare straight ahead, or if you're lucky and you got a corner, to examine the corner or wall with such an intense interest, as if the naked eye were an electron microscope, and you could find the cure for cancer in the grout between the bricks...
So, blessedly, I made it into a corner, and as I'm...ahem... relieving myself, I become the inner scientist and study that grout. Now, as much as we try, our heads do tend to swivel and we furtively glance around, yet always quickly returning to our research. This time, as my head automatically swiveled to the left, I noticed that I could see the top of the head of the guy next to me. The reason for this was because he was peering over the useless divider between us, examining me! Intently!
Me: Excuse me....(he looks up, and gives me this sheepish/knowing/gambling smile)
Him: Yeth? (just kidding, he didn't have the stereotypical lisp....)
Me: Do you mind? (he studies my face, and reaching the conclusion that I will not be his date in the last stall on the left, and realizing that I was getting pissed[no pun intended]....)
Him: ....bitch.
He promptly turns and walks away. No shake and zip, nothing. That means he was just lurking around the john, and wasn't even relieving himself as he examined me....
Very weird.
I took the subway to Dougie's, and we had a great time. Jake had just gotten some sefarim from a yiddish booksale, so we checked them out. It was a good way to relax.....
On the way back to Jersey, I sat across from this guy who works at the Conan O'Brein Show, and we talked music the whole way. It was really cool. Did you ever notice that music is the universal language? Anyhoo, I'll see y'all around.....
Originally posted Saturday, 16 July 2005
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