Finally....an update....

I'm really sorry....it's just been pretty nuts here, lately.
So, I went home for shabbos sheva brachos for my recently wed brother. My father had told me earlier to prepare something to say, which I did, but I wasn't really interested in speaking. I kept pushing it off, through the friday night meal, and subsequently through kiddush and shabbos day's meal. I thought I was almost home free by seudas shlishis, when my eldest brother, who was helming that event took the initiative and introduced me to the crowd, thereby forcing me to act. Knees wobbly, I stood up and delivered my speech. I'm glad I did, because despite my fears that it wouldn't go over well, a lot of people came over to me to tell me how impressed they were. In the end, it was definitely worth it, and in all honesty, I even went for some extra ego strocking later on, in the form of feigning unhappiness with my own performance in front of various family members, etc., only to be mollified and assured that "No, no, you were great! Really!" Awwwwww, you don't really mean that!:)
Sunday morning, I flew back to New York. I'd been listening to Rage Against The Machine on the plane, and they have one song that has a really catchy refrain that starts off repeating "and now you do what they told you" over and over. Later on in the same song, the refrain is changed to a mantra that repeats "Fuck you, I won't do what you told me" backed by a really syncopatic beat and thrashing guitars. It's really easy to get caught up in it. So I've got it blasting in my ears, and I'm up to the second refrain, and I'm really feeling it. The stewardess ( flight attendant?) comes around to tell us to put our seat backs and tray tables up, and when she came to my row, I must have looked up at her with an extremmely dangerous/intense look on my face, due to the music, because she recoiled in horror! Realizing this, I removed my head phones and politely asked if there was a problem, which I think weirded her out more. She asked me to prepare for landing, and scurried away.......
After landing, I picked up my newly wed brother's car from the garage, because I was to keep it for the remainder of the zman in yeshiva. In addition, I was to go to Brooklyn to pick up 3 duffel bags that belonged to him and his new wife from her old apartement, in order to take it to the airport next week to give to my sister who was going back to Israel.
Fine.
So I'm driving on the BQE towards Brooklyn, and suddenly, out of nowhere, the road just splits. No warning, no signs, just the next thing I know, I'm on the Williamsburg Bridge. Well, I can't turn around until I'm off the bridge, so I just calm myself down, and wait for the nearest street to turn around and get back on the bridge. Of course, my luck has it that there was some sort of street fair for the first five or so blocks, plus they're all one way streets, so it was some time before I got myself headed in the right direction. Then, as I'm getting on the bridge, not only do I realize that I'm in the lane headed for Williamsburg, but that the lane to the BQE West, where I was headed, was on the other side of a cement divider. What the hell. No signs, again.
To cut a long story short, I was lost in Williamsburg for close to an hour, which can seem like an eternity. Among the highlights were driving up the sidewalk the wrong way on a one way street, breaking down the language barrier with an ancient hispanic dude, and being snubbed or misdirected by several of my hasidic brethren.
I finally arrived at my sister in law's old apartment, and over the phone, she guided me through the apartment to get the luggage. It was weird, but she explicitly warned me not to "poke around". What should I expect to "find", already? I asked her, but she sort of dodged the question........
After contracting a hernia from all the lugging I did, I called her back to ask her where the bathroom was. At first she didn't want to tell me, becuase, as she puts it, "her roomates were really 'finicky' about others using their bathroom." I cajoled and pleaded, assuring her I wouldn't "mark any territory", and that no one would know, etc. She told me where to find it, and warned me to be quick, cuz they could walk in at any second. I took care of my business, and sure enough, just as I was leaving the john, one of them walked in with her chasan, presumably. After getting an intense interrogation as to who I was, and what was I doing in her "inner sanctum", she offered me a drink, and I left to get back to yeshiva.
I figured I was scott free, and that my sister in law's roomates would never know that a stranger "defiled" their bathroom. I even congradulated myself on my smootheness and suave dealing with her roomate. It was only once I crossed the Verazzano Bridge that I realized I had left the seat up.......
Originally posted Thursday, 7 July 2005