I don't even know how to feel, or what to say.
I decided quite some time ago to keep the specific contents ( i.e. conversations and other potentially private details) of my dating to myself; to that end, I don't even tell my folks what went on during a date past the bare minimum.
I guess when it gets back to me that a girl who I dated several times repeated certain parts of our conversations, I feel hurt. Especially when it's made out to look like I'm some sort of creep, and the events that are being told didn't even happen the way they're being said over...
The worst part is that I really liked this girl. She was so cool, and even though it didn't work out between us, I still wished her the best.
I just feel like a fool now...
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Therefore, the pure righteous do not complain of the dark, but increase the light; they do not complain of evil, but increase justice; they do not complain of heresy, but increase faith; they do not complain of ignorance, but increase wisdom. - Rav Kook
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It is a singular force that drives us like no other. The sages teach that the highest level of serving God is serving Him with Love. It is the motivation throughout our waking moments, what keeps us going, what takes us on to the next day, and is one of the most powerful tools known to Man. It has the power to heal like a soothing balm, and the ability to crush and destroy if misused. We must learn how to utilize this tool, and unite all of world Jewry, and ultimately, the world. Then we will experience Tikkun Olam, and our exiles will be gathered in Peace. So go ahead, make your own credo; finish off that line of thought. Love Is The Motive...
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- Shmuel
- I'm a thirtysomething Jew, trying to make myself a better person; a husband; a father; a seeker, trying to be a warrior.
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17 comments:
You shouldn't feel like a fool - you are the one who takes the high road and does the right thing. She should be embarrassed. I think you should continue with your integrity...
If you make expectations you can only be disappointed. If you don't you can only be surprised.
KD kudos for you! so true.
JM: Girls sare b*tches, welcome to reality- and oh, how wrong were you for even liking her in the first place!, and TG you didnt marry her shes an A+ one!
jewmaican - that's hard... i don't discuss my dating with others either, and if i do, it's without names. i would find it terribly disconcerting if the person i dated would speak about me...
ouch.
anono - i take offense to what you said. i think you've got to have a change of heart and mind before you can think about getting married...
Anonymous, If you really believe that about all women, I pity you. This is not a gender issue. It's a people issue. Some people are like that, some are not. And since you brought it up i gotta tell you, I speak to both guys and gals and generally it's the guys who discuss more freely the matters that should probably be kept private.
Shoshana - I don't think she even thought twice about it. And I feel like a fool, because maybe I gave away too much of myself.
But what is the balance? How do you properly make someone understand who you are, while at the same time not overstep yourself?
Karam Dude - I hear that...
Anono - Gotta agree with the others here. Girls aren't bitches; and this isn't limited to women. Guys are sometimes even worse. I've hung around a certain dorm before, and the amount of slander and filth that flies around is disgusting...
ok guys and girls, i went a little to hard, i dont think all girls are b*tches, just unfortuantly "some" of them that i have met have been that way.
And yes i do have to work on myself before i do get married, but i better hope whoever i get doesnt fall in that category.
and yes i call guys shmucks (especialy those who peddle around all the bs), when they fall into the b*tch category, sorry i think its gender based.
Have an easy and meaningful fast! (whatever thats sposto mean)
Aww, you shouldn't feel like a fool. You've done the right thing but unfortunately, other people don't always choose the same path as you and there are consequences that they may not know about. Sorry that you got hurt this time.
I don't talk about my dates either, other than bare minimum, and if I do talk about a date, it's without using names or to someone who wouldn't know them. And talking about it is usually just to figure out what was right or wrong, so that it's easier to identify the qualities I'm looking for next time.
DUDE bummer thats life her lose you shjould go on doing your thing and forget it! anyone that knows you wont belive it and other people will find out the truth!!!
V
just curious to hear your opinion. do you feel it's wrong to talk about your dates even without mentioning names?
Anono - It's cool, man. No hard feelings, and don't beat yourself up; I think we all knew what you meant...
Sarah - I hear you. Welcome to my blog, I don't think that I've seen you here before.
Moe - Thanks for the kind words, man. I love ya.
Chanie - I think it really depends on the circumstances. Why are you talking about the date? Just cause? Or are you trying to examine what went right/wrong? I think that's alittle subjective, of course, but I really try to keep it at the most minimal amount, regardless, provided I can get away with it...Oh, and welcome, welcome!
wow, I respect that. Although I would never mention names, sometimes it's hard not to talk, but I guess that's what makes me female. ;)
Thanks for the welcome, but I've been around for a couple years already, just never spoke up.
Well, I'm glad you finally did, Chanie...
Ouch. This is why nicknames work... you can vent but not hurt the other person.
Dating is very tricky-- you need to open yourself up enough and have someone open up senough to you to decide to marry them, but no one wants to get burned either. IMHO, no one ever got hurt by taking things slowly... (As long as it's clear to everyone that that's what you're doing, and not just stalling or playing around.)
I respect your feelings. Why u think that u got fooled? Don't get upset,you have not lost anything she lost someone who love her.
i appreciate you B2C Jewels you have a good heart.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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