Tuesday, July 17, 2007

New idea...

Hey.
It's bein hazmanim here, but I'm sort of in limbo right now, as I still haven't made any definitive plans.
So far, I've been waking at the crack of noon every day and lazing around, for the most part.
Still, all this extra time gives me an opportunity to really let my mind go; take it's leash off, so to speak.
Yesterday, I had this amazing thought...
Years ago - when I was about sixteen, seventeen - a friend and I agreed to be each other's Porn Buddies. A Porn Buddy, basically, is a person that you can implicitly trust with the knowledge of the whereabouts of your stash of porn, or whatever contraband you may have hidden away in your personal spaces.
The idea is that in the event of one's untimely death ( i.e. before he's been able to get all his affairs in order), the other Porn Buddy will go to the deceased's house and remove and destroy any compromising material that may cause shame to the deceased's survivors, or the deceased himself. It's more or less a damage control plan, in a worst case scenario...

Any paraphenalia that I had is gone now, but this idea stuck with me.

The Porn Buddy setup is a good idea, startegically, but it's defensive. What if, I thought, we can use this concept for a better purpose?

Ever seen a movie or read a book where two characters have a fight, and then one suddenly dies? Then, the survivor goes through the rest of his life lacking closure due to the fact that their last words were harsh? "I never got the chance to tell him how I felt..." and so on.
My idea - and I started on it today - is to write a personal letter to everyone I feel it necessary. My folks, my siblings, certain friends, and certain teachers. In it, I would be as honest as possible, telling them truthfully how I feel, and that in case they ever, ever, had doubt, they should know what they mean to me.
In case - God forbid - I die early, or suddenly, a trusted friend ( a Porn Buddy, of sorts ) who'd been holding onto these letters would immediately send them out to the addressees, and this way, they'd know - even if I'd never expressed it in so many words - how much I love and appreciate them.
Sometimes it's too hard to actually say it; we need distance. Pen and paper provide a certain safety, and it lasts a long time...

16 comments:

The Dreamer said...

inetersting ideas...
it's amazing to see how far you've come...

just one question. why wait for the worst before sending these letters? send them now, as soon as they are written. give them somthing to cherish now, thereby buildin each special relationship...

Lvnsm27 said...

great thinking ahead

doodlehead said...

its a great idea, if you have a life insurance policy you should definitely have a porn buddy. be prepared.

the other guy said...

jm, I'm back!!
I second the dreamer, why wait- let everyone know how much you really love them? isn't love the motive? couldn't ever believe that you wouldn't like something.
its funny because my dad has a long will, and before he goes on a trip he tells us where we can find it on his computer.. kinda scary.
on another note? let's say you were best friends with me, then for some reason we got in some major fight, I would love to then get the letter how you loved me!! it makes it way to complicated as you must keep updated your letters, although right your parents a letter, I better hope you will always love them!

the other guy said...

jm, I'm back!!
I second the dreamer, why wait- let everyone know how much you really love them? isn't love the motive? couldn't ever believe that you wouldn't like something.
its funny because my dad has a long will, and before he goes on a trip he tells us where we can find it on his computer.. kinda scary.
on another note? let's say you were best friends with me, then for some reason we got in some major fight, I would love to then get the letter how you loved me!! it makes it way to complicated as you must keep updated your letters, although right your parents a letter, I better hope you will always love them!

Karma dude said...

Firstly I apologize for high-jacking your blog last post. I had a minor surgery done on my right pinky last Friday (which is probably what triggered the venting) and the doc recommended typing as therapy (being that I'm currently 250 miles from my piano) hence the rambling.
Moving along to the present post. While i love the concept it's just not practical for me personally. If i were to die today I would rather people thought i liked them then them knowing the truth.
P.S. Jewmaican, you know i love you. What? No not in that kind of way you sicko...

Moe said...

WOW i never heard of a porn buddy but good idea wish i had one all those "FUN" years!!;);) but really i think you should send them out now! there was a great story in one of the 'chicken soup for the soul' books about a teacher that made all the kids in her class write one good thing they like about each kid in the class then she gave everyone a paper with all the good things the other kids in the class said about them!! Many years later when one of them was killed in a war his mom told the teacher that he carried the paper in his wallet all those years till the day he died! and the other students that were there at the time pulled out there paper from there wallets!! most of the kids/adults had it on them!!!! i know it's not the same but it would make anyone you write to feel really good about how you feel about them!! great idea!!
keep up the good work!

jewmaican20 said...

Dreamer - There's a certain akwardness that people feel in the presence of complete honesty. It may be well intended, but sometimes a confession ( of sorts) can have an averse effect. Also, in certain cases, what I have to say may be firm; that can be taken the wrong way.
To me, this seems to be the best idea...
L - Glad you think so. You gonna take the idea?
Doods - Right? This goes under the same category as "change daily"...
Other Guy - see above
Karma Dude - I know you love me. And I think you're pretty honest to begin with.
Moe - Thanks for the story...

anonym00kie said...

while youre at, maybe get your ex-porn-buddy-future-love-letter-buddy your blog password so he can alert the world to your situation..
i've wondered about that when people have disapeared from their blogging/ on line life..

Reb Y. said...

Write the letters just leave it in your draw or car they'll find it when the time comes

David_on_the_Lake said...

Hmmm You write like a 50 yr old..
Youre not supoosed to be thinking about death in ur 20s..

Its is a great idea though..

jewmaican20 said...

mOOk - I've considered that. I'll probably have Karma dude let you guys know if anything happens to me, God forbid.
Reb Y. - No, that's too iffy. It has to be taken care of...
Dave - well, as jews we're always thnking about death, anyway. Plus, it's a segula for Arichas Yamim to make plans for one's death, I believe...

Scraps said...

I think this is a beautiful idea. Maybe I'll do it sometime...

Karma dude said...

Jewmaican, You better find someone else to notify everybody if something happens because at the rate I'm going I'll be gone before you. Here's the Karma Dude update. I got my stitches from last weeks procedure out yesterday and i got a root canal today at PM. It seems I've been doomed not to enjoy enjoy this vacation. I'm falling apart at the seems here.

karma dude said...

Thats 4pm.

jewmaican20 said...

Scraps - I hope you will.
Karma Dude - Hope you're feeling better...