Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Musings...

Hey.
Just thought I'd share some random thoughts that have floated into view in the murky fishbowl I call my mind...
- A guy in Yeshiva approached me the other day to show me a band he'd recently discovered. They're a metal band called Killswitch Engaged, and they've been around for the past seven years or so. I'd heard them plenty of times, of course, but the last I'd heard they had a guy who screamed a lot, and his screaming wasn't so good anyway, so I didn't pay much attention to them. Last year they got a new singer who utilizes his singing voice more, but I'd never heard him. Anyway, this guy came over to me with stars in his eyes. "You've gotta here this guy, Jewmaican! His lyrics are out of this world. Reluctantly ( I'll explain why I was reluctant later in this post...) I took his mp3 player and strapped on the headphones. Amid a blistering guitar riff coupled with a thundering double-bass drum, I heard the very familiar lyrics "...ride the tiger, you can see his stripes but you know he's clean... I nearly laughed out loud, but stifled it and handed the 'phones back to him. Basically, it's a cover of an old famous song by Ronnie James Dio, who fronted Black Sabbath after Ozzy left. After he in turn left Sabbath, he started a solo career...I love when guys think they've discovered something "new".
- Thinking about that later on brought back memories. I remember when I was first turned onto Dio. I was in 8th grade; it was 1997-98, and the rock scene wasn't really hot at the time. I should mention that I had all kinds of musical influences from my siblings when I was a really little kid. One brother was into Roxette, Poison, and the like. My other brother was into MC Hammer; my cousin was into what is already being termed as old school hip hop ( That's the whole gamut from Run D.M.C., KRS One, to Rakim and Eric B., etc.). One sister loved The New Kids On The Block; the other loved Genesis, Peter Cettera, Chicago, and Phil Collins' solo stuff. Another few of my cousins really liked the eighties metal scene. The only music style that I discovered myself really was reggae, and that was because of UB40. Anyway, at the time I was listening to classic stuff: Rush,Led Zep, Iron Maiden, and the likes of those. I had started getting bored with it; I had a new CD player, and was craving more. It was at a family barbecue, and one of my cousins approached me. He's several years older than me, but we got along really well. When I told him about my predicament, he smiled a little smile and ran back to his house. He came back holding a mixtape, one of those old ones that were clear with green and yellow markings all over it. The label said one word: Dio. I vividly remember going back into my house, up to my room, and not leaving for the duration of the tape. Afterwards, I said one word: whoa. It's funny how we can remember the things that mean significant changes in our lives, isn't it?
- I've been reading up on a very interesting concept in the psychology world lately. There's a school of thought going back several decades about a different approach to helping people with their issues. Rather than psychanalyze and try various forms of therapy which seemingly "harp" (focus would probably be a better word) on past trauma and childhood experiences, this approach seeks to cause the patient to focus on the positive aspects of his current experiences. This approach is known as Cognitive behavioral Therapy. The shrink will help the patient build up his self esteem by focusing on the good things that the person has going in his life, etc. By enumerating his accomplishments, and such ( note: in these matters, I'm basically a layman; this is how I understand it, that's all.). In my humble opinion, this does seem like a better approach, and most likely fits into hashkafic parameters as well. As a matter of fact, many Hasidic texts enjoin the reader to do just that...I even tried it earlier tonight on a friend of mine, and I think it helped.
- On that note, I was reminded of a beautiful meditation that my friend told me the other day. We say "Hashem reigned, Hashem reigns, Hashem will reign forever..." One of the commentaries explains that we, the nation of Israel say the past tense, the Angels say the present tense, and together we say the future tense. My friend's observation as to why this may be is because in hindsight, it's easy to see God's hand in everything; conversely, we can also say with faith for the future that we see God's hand. But in the here and now, when things may seem a little rough, it's sometimes difficult to actually recognize God's hand in everything, and therefore, only the angels say it. Obviously we have to get some CBT going to work on that...
- As for an explanation why I reluctantly listened to that guy's music? Well, truth be told, I've started to systematically delete my many files of non jewish music. I still like it, and I certainly don't look down at anyone who listens to it. I understand the draw it has, and the power it has, and how it can be cathartic. Hell, I lived at certain points only with the help of music. I would even venture to say that given the certain music - and the way it's utilized - it could even help a person grow. However, personally, my time is drawing to a close. First of all, it's not necessarily consistent with where I aspire to be, both spiritually and in real time. Second, to illustrate my point, I'll use a nice parable that I lifted from a Buddhist book I once read ( a looooong time ago): A man is walking and he comes upon a body of water he must cross. Suddenly, a boat drifts by. The man takes the boat, and uses it to cross the sea. Over the period of time he's in the boat, the man becomes very attached to it. After all, the boat keeps him afloat, keeps him safe. There's a small shelter that protects him from the sun and the rain and the winds. Without it, he'd never be able to survive. But when he gets to the other side of the sea, what will he do? Will he lift it out of the water and strap it to his back? The point is, the boat served a particular purpose; it got him across the water. But now, were he to take it onto his shoulders, it would be nothing but a burden. That's how I feel about the music issue. I have the knowledge that I have now, and I'll use that knowledge for the best things. But I don't really think I need the actual listening anymore. Now, I'm still listening to stuff, but I'm trying not to buy anymore music. And, while it's somebody else's business entirely as to whether s/he listens or not, I don't want to discuss it with others and possibly cause them to go buy or download stuff as a result of my "help."
-Another thing that recently flitted around my head was a memory from the bad times in High School. I read a book a little over a week ago called Go Ask Alice ( named after the trippy Jefferson Airplane song "White rabbit"), which was originally printed in 1971 by an anonymous author. It's alittle murky as to whether it's real, or based on the real diary of a teenage girl from then as she chronicles her own descent into the drug world. It's pretty freaky and probably would've stopped a lot of people from ever trying drugs if they'd read it early enough. Anyhoo, there's one entry that jumps out at me: August 13: It's all I can do to keep from crying. Mon and Dad just called to say how proud they are to have me for a daughter. There are no words to express how I feel. She doesn't have to say them, because I know exactly how she feels. I remember that happening to me. it was right before some proverbial shit hit the fan, literally two days. I was really down because I knew the other shoe was gonna drop, and I was talking to my mother. Out of the blue my mother said those exact words...
I wonder if all children go throught that experience? Will I do the same -unwittingly - to my own children? Definitely something worth thinking about...
Anyway, enough from me.
See you soon!

15 comments:

the dreamer said...

Wow.
The end of your post is something we can all relate to, i think.

And the middle, about cognitive behavior therapy; there are actually a few schools of thought now used focusing on the here and now, the good points of oneself, and goals for the future. cognitive behavior therapy is just one. And yeah, these methods seem to be very powerful. (though sometimes, the other methods ARE needed.)

nice vort, btw.

Keep growing!

Anonymous said...

great job (once again) but wow how we all have changed, some of the things you said blew my mind! Of all the people i know i would never think of you as one to stop listing to non jewish music! but hey good luck keep up the great work on here and in life!

Rivky said...

-reminds me of when I was little and was way into a certain rap song because it had an amazing chorus. then I found out that the chorus was someone else's.

-yup

-kinda like not crying over spilled milk, or getting on with it. I can see it working for depression. don't know how it would work for arachnophobia.
Hey I did that to myself a couple of times. Once I was really depressed cause I thought I left out half a test cause girls were talking about questions I didn't remember. anyway I was harping on it, then I decided to write down all the good things that happened that day and all the bad things. guess which list was longer. I got over it (postscript- i went to the teacher the next day and I hadn't left out a page and I got a good grade. guess I knew the answers without really reading the questions).

- good for you! everyone who stops has their own reason (and I guess everyone who doesn't stop has their own reason too). I remember it was hard (the first three times :) ), but at least you don't feel you need it anymore. is it music in general that you don't need, or are you going to switch to jewish? I found that the depth and energy that I was able to get from non-jewish music not only transfered, but it got much deeper when the words were tefillos. but thats just me.

-a. I loved go ask Alice, I must have been in 7th or 8th grade when I read it, and after I read it I was totally scared off drugs. although its not like I ever really had opportunity or desire to use them otherwise.
b. funny I was reading my old notebooks and diaries and remembering the bad times in high school too. did anyone really have good times in high school? (although I know thats now what you were talking about. thats what I thought when I first read it)

Anonymous said...

good thing you never got into disco biscuits,phish or any of the hippie jamband stuff. that stuff really rots the brain, trance rock stuff,really nuts makes no sense , unless you do enough drugs. Then nothing makes sense exept for the weird muzac

Shmuel said...

JJL - what are you talking about? You know I'm a huge Phish Phreak. I just didn't mention the whole jamband scene because my introduction into it was through the prog-rock scene ( Rush, Yes, Cream, even Tool and the Mars Volta) that led me into the jam scene. Sorry.
Trix - I've never stopped listening to Jewish music, but I haven't heard the more mainstream stuff in years. The stuff i listen to resonates with soul; the problem is, there's never enough new material...I still need music. Who doesn't?
Moe - Glad you finally found the site. Call me some time. And sorry to disappoint you...Doesn't mean we can't still talk about it. I can still "dazzle" you...
Dreamer - I agree. I'm sure the other therapuetic efforts have a proper use, but CBT strikes me as coming from the philosophical concept of "Well, duh..."
Thanks, and we should ALL grow!

Anonymous said...

alot of mainstream jewish music is actually non-jewish so nothing to be worried about you can still get your fix and like you said as far as soulful music well the king of jewish soul hasnt been with us for almost 13 yrs finally only because you mentioned it I was always wondering whose alice in white rabbit?

Anonymous said...

the prime example of jewish music that was taken from non-jewish is yiddin, which was originally a disco song called ghengis kohn. a whole bunch of shabbas nigguning for zmiros are old russian drinking songs.

Rivky said...

whats the difference? I think its the words in goyish music which is the problem, and the words are the difference between yiddin and gengis kahn.

Anonymous said...

thats why i like jazz no words just music

Shmuel said...

KDB - Alice in the song "White Rabbit"? That's the same Alice from the famous story known by most as Alice In Wonderland. Listen to the song again. "White Rabbit", "hookah-smoking caterpillar", etc. are all straight from the fiction...
JJL - The name of the group was Genghis Kahn, not the song, I believe. And as for the marches that became famous niggunim and songs? You're guess is as good as mine, but maybe some of them were viewed as affronts to the oppressor..
Trix - It depends really on the actual music. Sometimes the words are the issue, and sometimes it's the actual music. Take Yanni for instance - many people say that his compositional approach gets him so caught up and emotional that he has a sexual reaction. No words in his music, though...Makes you wonder, huh?

smb said...

That's very interesting about cognative behavior therapy. I sometimes use it on myself. It's helps to enjoy life.

About the music. When I was in high school, I listened a lot to the radio. Later, I wasn't listening so much anymore. And then I started listening a lot again. But I think I should cut down. Thank G-d, I have a huge Jewish music collection to listen to

David_on_the_Lake said...

Hey...
The cognitive behavioral approach is great once the person has come to terms with his/her past. If not, no matter how much they focus on the postives they'll always be lurking.
A persons past is not history it shaped who they are now.

Rivky said...

sure, but whats your reaction to yanni? I think the difference is what the music does to you.

Shmuel said...

David - I hear you, but maybe if someone has sorted himself out in the here and now, and is in a safer place mentally, then he can focus and make peace and acknowledge his past. Sort of a "chicken or the egg" theory...
Lvnsm - No doubt. Good luck with that.
Trix - I think we're both right in this one. It really depends on the circumstances; we don't understand the power music has, and therefore, the kavanah put into it can be pretty potent. Aside from the rumors I've heard about Yanni, I can't listen to his music because it's too sensual for me..

Rivky said...

I wouldn't normally post on an old post that I already posted on, but I was reading mishpacha about psychotherapy and it was talking about CBT and it used exactly the example of fear of spiders that you actually can use it to cure that by something like "how does the spider make you feel and then you have to think positive thoughts about it." or something like that. cool