The Heart and the Wellspring: Maoz Tzur

Courtesy of Ynet, off the new(-ish) album Achake Lo: Songs From the Ashes of the Holocaust.

Gad Elbaz - Miracles feat. Ari Lesser and Naftali Kalfa

HT to my father-in-law, who showed this to me literally two minutes ago. It's fresh (uploaded onto YouTube earlier today) and timely, so enjoy!

Wings of Spirit

If you desire, human being, look at the light of God’s Presence in everything.
   Look at the Eden of spiritual life, at how it blazes into each corner and crevice of life, spiritual and of this world, right before your eyes of flesh and your eyes of soul....
    Gaze at the wonders of creation, at their divine life—not like some dim phenomenon that is placed before your eyes from afar.
    But know the reality in which you live.
    Know yourself and your world.
    Know the thoughts of your heart, and of all who speak and think. 
    Find the source of life inside you, higher than you, around you. [Find] the beautiful ones alive in this generation in whose midst you are immersed.
    The love within you: lift it up to its mighty root, to its beauty of Eden.
    Send it spreading out to the entire flood of the soul of the Life of worlds, Whose light is reduced only by incapable human expression.
    Gaze at the lights, at what they contain.
    Do not let the Names, phrases and letters swallow up your soul.
    They have been given over to you.
    You have not been given over to them.

    Rise up.
    Rise up, for you have the power.
    You have wings of the spirit, wings of powerful eagles.
    Do not deny them, or they will deny you.
    Seek them, and you will find them instantly.
            Orot Hakodesh I, pp. 83-84

This song has been on constant replay lately. Something resonates deeeeply within...

Noah Lubin's albums are on sale; you can buy them on Amazon as well as iTunes...

Adon HaSelichot

Elul is upon us, and my beloved sephardi brethren are already preparing for the Days of Awe while the rest of us roll over in bed.

Kol hakavod to them...

Moshe Hecht and Levi Robin performing on behalf of Lamplighters Yeshiva

An e-mail I received from Moshe Hecht:

         Dearest Friends,

On June 23rd I will be celebrating and performing along side singer/songwriter Levi Robin and artist Noah Lubin (נוח לובין) in support of Lamplighters Yeshivah - the wonderful school that my Son Shney attends. It's going to be an elegant evening of Food/Drinks, Music & Art - all of my favorite things:) I hope you will join me. All of the info is here: LamplightersImpressions.com

From Lamplighters' website:

Every day, Lamplighters Yeshivah empowers students to make their own unique imprint on the world—as people and as Chassidim. Just like the faintest light can dispel the darkest night, even the smallest impressions we make on our young have a power unrivaled. By giving our children not just lessons but experiences that encourage their abilities and challenge their ways of thinking and behaving, their unique splendor comes to life.​Join Lamplighters Yeshivah, New Yorks’s only Chassidic Montessori demonstration school, as we celebrate another successful year of creating lasting impressions on the torchbearers of tomorrow.

I'm not necessarily a fan of Montessori, but its style is helpful for many children. A school that is trying to integrate chassidus as a basic element of its atmosphere gets a vote in my book.

Levi Robin is crazy talented. His EP (below) is fantastic, and he is currently on tour with Matisyahu.



Here is a new song from Moshe Hecht




​

Music

I just got the two newest albums from The Heart and the Wellspring ensemble. One is comprised of Chabad niggunim, the other of niggunim from Rav Yitzchak Ginsburg of Gal Einai.



HaMadregot also released a new album recently, one consisting of pizmonim from Rabbi Avraham Ibn Ezra, one of the foremost commentaries on the Torah and an incredibly complex poet.

Awesome!

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Moshe Hecht: Believers

The end sent chills up my spine...

Jewish Meditation: A Practical Guide by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan

This is awesome. One of my favorite books ever, available for free online.

HT to RYGB.

Aryeh Kaplan - Jewish Meditation, a Practical Guide

Moshe Hecht: Heart Is Alive (debut album)

Moshe Hecht is an inspiring singer/songwriter whose debut album recently came out. A few years ago ago he released a song "Lamplighters" that pays tribute to ChaBaD shluchim everywhere.

I picked up his album "Heart Is Alive" last week, and something just clicked as I was listening to it. There are a few tracks that jumped out at me right away, including HaMavdil, which is in the embed below:



The lyrical flow dovetails nicely with the original verses; I hear a certain earnest quality, a yearning that I can relate to.

Here is his website; there is a free download available on the site, but the whole album is worth it.

Mini Doc about the Piaseczna Rebbe

I found this a while ago on Dixie Yid's blog. If you understand Hebrew, it's worth seeing. Also, it has two photos of the rebbe that I have never seen elsewhere. if anyone knows where I can find those two pictures, I'd be much obliged...

Reb Kalonymos Kalman on Pesach

I found this over on Cross-Currents, courtesy of a guest contributor.

by Rabbi Binyomin Gidon HaLevi Kelsen, Esq.

Note: The following is a letter written in 1939 by the Piasceztna Rebbe to his followers before Pesach 5699 (1939). At this time, though the war had not yet begun, there were some indications of the horrors to come. The Piasceztna Rebbe had urged as many of his followers as possible to leave Europe. By April of 1939, Pesach 5699, it was becoming difficult if not impossible to get out of Poland. This letter sent out to his followers on Erev Pesach was meant to be a source of comfort and chizuk to his people. This letter was originally printed in Hebrew in Sefer Derech HaMelech, letters, p. 409.

My dear ones, I am calling to you and speaking to your souls. The Holy days of Pesach are approaching. The holiness of these days infuse us thoroughly; inside and out. Their light fills us and encompasses us.

Nevertheless as Dovid HaMelech is stated in Sefer Tehillim (97:11) “Ohr zarua laTzaddik, U’ l’Yishrei lev simcha” “Light is sown for the righteous and there is joy for the upright of heart”. Light is like a seedling; at the beginning it requires our nurturing and our efforts to foster its growth. Like a field needs plowing and hoeing and weeding watering, so do we need to prepare ourselves before the Chag. Without the preparation, there can be no joy, no growth and no light. With all the preparations needed for the festival, we must be careful not to divert our attention from ourselves, not to forget to draw down the Holiness of the season.

The main aspect of the festival is to be joyful; to praise and glorify Hashem Yisborach for all the miracles and all the goodness. This is actually the purpose of the entire creation and the essence of the relationship between the earthly creation and the heavenly family above.

When the time comes for the Pesach evening Ma’ariv prayer, you should rejoice in your tremendous fortune, in the great privilege you have to be engaged in the Avodah of Pesach. You should say to yourself, “My joy is without bounds that I have been granted the opportunity to achieve my purpose in the world and to be elevated to the upper spheres. True I have my problems, both material and spiritual, but for now I discard them, the entire world is longer important to me. I even nullify my own self in order to stand in the company of angels, awaiting the presence of the Ribbono Shel Olam. My only thought is to praise and glorify his great name and to draw down the Holy splendor of HKB”H’s light into the world, into my own soul and into the souls of my family.”

Your joy should so exalted that you feel that you can barely hold yourself back from breaking into an ecstatic dance; leaping from the earth to the heavens.

Afterwards when you sit at the Seder table, you imagine yourself sitting down to a festive meal in Gan Eden itself, participating in the celebration of the final redemption. All of the aspects of the Seder, eating the matzo and maror, drinking the four cups of wine, and reciting the Haggadah, Hallel and other songs of praise, comprise a holy service to Hashem. The angels above are crowded around to hear our praises of Hashem. Even Hashem himself rejoices in delight as he receives our praise and song as is known from the esoteric literature. A Jew is able to feel Hashem’s delight with each word that he utters from the Haggadah. He is imbued with such holiness that he is replete with sorrow when he finishes each word; if only he could go back and recite the Hallel another 1000 times, he would does so. His whole being is at one with his Creator as he recites words of incredible sweetness; the Haggadah lying open in front of him. One must endeavor to provide sanctuary for the holiness of this night, so that it will abide by him for the whole year.

…Continue to foster your love for your fellow Jew for that is the hinge on which all divine service revolves. . . I bless you with… Chag Kasher v’Sameach.

Kabbalah and Jazz: The Mystical Foundation of Improvisational Music

From Rabbi Adam Jacobs, via the Huffington Post:

In his great work To Heal the Soul, Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira wrote that all humans each have their own unique musical ladder -- a distinct melody that allows one to draw down spiritual sustenance into this world. This melody is exclusive and in essence can not be performed by anyone else. He believes that it is so individualized that to use someone else's ladder is like putting someone else's saliva into your mouth to sing. This concept is so ubiquitous, so universal, that Rebbe Nachman of Breslov went as far as to say that each and every blade of grass has its own unique melody as well. Very poetic, but is there any substance to it?
Years ago this assertion would have been harder to make but not so since the advent of String Theory. Though there are many who reflexively disparage it, the fact of the matter is that as time progresses, science and mysticism seem to be merging. For instance, since the time of Aristotle, the common wisdom was that matter had always existed. So ingrained was this notion that even Einstein was prepared to "fudge" his own math to uphold the view (a move he would later call "the greatest blunder of my career"). The 3,300-year-old Jewish view that there was a "Beginning" to reality as we know it stood out in sharp relief against the prevailing wisdom and was vindicated in the last century. Science had taken a step toward religion.
As science developed the technological capability to peer deeper and deeper into the essence of matter, the familiar notion of minute balls or dots of matter was formed -- electrons, protons, neutrons and the like. As it turns out, this picture now seems to be inadequate and has been replaced by Super String Theory, a concept that suggests that the tiny matter contained in the proton is actually composed of uber-small strings, the vibrations of which give rise to all of physical reality. So we see that at its core, the universe is created through sound. In that light, Rebbe Nachman's singing grass does not seem quite as quaint, but is actually substantial. String theory also helps to explain why G-d specifically used the medium of speech (as opposed to thought, deed or anything else) to create the world as outlined at the beginning of Genesis. (Interesting side note: String Theory only works based on a model of the universe that contains either 10 or 26 dimensions which happens to be the exact same numbers suggested by the great Kabbalist Rabbi Issac Luria in the 16th Century.)
What does all of this have to do with Jazz? Well, as we have explained, every facet of the universe is currently singing its own unique tune. This highlights the intrinsic need for us to "be ourselves," and indeed, musicians perform at their peak when they are internally consistent. Miles Davis had trouble finding himself early in his career, preferring to incarnate as a second Dizzy Gillespie. Miles finally asked him why he couldn't play like him and Dizzy wisely explained that Miles heard other sounds in his head and that he should play those. The results were stunning. I once heard the great bassist Dave Holland defend the music of Kenny G as "authentic." "You may not relate to it," he said, "but he's being true to himself and you need to applaud that."
In Conscious Community, another classic by Rabbi Shapira, he explains the prophetic connection to music. Jewish tradition records that the prophets of antiquity used music to lull themselves into the prophetic state. There is a wonderful description in the Talmud of King David's meditative practice. He would prop up his stringed instrument by the open window and in the middle of the night as the wind began to blow across the strings he would be awakened by the tune and begin the process of focusing his thoughts. Rabbi Shapira relates that when the musician begins, he is playing the music and after a while, the music begins to play him. Every serious musician knows this to be the case. In fact, this is the reason they are drawn to play to begin with.
When I gave my graduate recital at the New England Conservatory, there was a moment during improvisations on Mahler's 9th that I simply ceased to be in control of what was unfolding. I became an observer of the performance, aware of it but no longer directing it. Melodies and musical ideas that I had previously been incapable of playing flowed from my fingers. It was fantastic, and for those moments I needed nothing else from life. The audience applause came as a shock, and then it was gone. There is something that the music does to the psyche. What is it? What properties does it have that so elevates the heart and mind? In an evolutionary sense, music has no value. The deaf are quite as capable of propagating the species as anyone else. How is it that these ordered tones compel us so?
Jazz, by virtue of its improvisational nature, forces the players to intently focus on the here and now. The musicians are balanced on a tight rope, not knowing precisely where the other side is and needing to depend on each other to get there. This trust and inspirational flow is similar to our relationship to G-d -- the less we are weighed down by the past or fretting over the future, the more of that natural creative (and spiritual) flow we can access. Many of the players I've spoken to and played with acknowledge this dynamic. They know that they have become a vessel for something bigger. It's their version of a religious rite, though they might never give it that appellation.
Kaballah explains that there are five spiritual dimensions and that at the intersection of the highest two, four energies merge: Eden, souls, Torah and music. This implies that each one of these concepts is a doorway to the others. Though Goethe wrote that architecture was "petrified music," dance, sculpture, drawing et al are not mentioned. It seems as though music hits a plane of reality that is simply higher than other artistic endeavors. It is the language of reality itself and its building blocks. Musicians also know the feeling of deep connection to the other players. It might not last five minutes after they leave the stage, but there is something magical while it lasts. As all people possess souls and as the root of all souls emanates from the top of that fourth world, it would follow that music is also a doorway to the merging of people on a soul level. Pleasure, wisdom, unity and transcendence are all byproducts of the true musical experience.

Click on the image to enlarge it.



































I found this here.

Yaakov Dovid Shulman is a versatile writer/translator/biographer/poet whose work appears in many books from both mainstream and independent Jewish publishing houses. He has translated B'nei Machshava Tova, as well as a primer of Breslov teachings, among many other things, and has made many of his works available for free online.

Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov (1912 - 1976)

Today, the sixth of Adar I, is the yahrtzeit of Rav Eliyahu Kitov (born Avraham Eliyahu Mokotow), the author of numerous informational books about all aspects of Judaism.

Rav Kitov's best known work is his Sefer HaToda'ah, an all-encompassing look at the Jewish year and its significant dates, customs and historical relevance. This massive undertaking involved establishing the biblical precedent of each month and continuing through history into modern times; the concise prose and sheer volume of information condensed into each paragraph is astounding, and each chapter comes with sources. It is my belief that this book should be a staple in any Jewish library. The book has been translated by Feldheim Publishers into an excellent multi-volume set The Book of Our Heritage - either language is worth getting.

A similarly themed book, Ish U'Beito, carefully examines the various mitzvot associated with the personal aspects of Jewish living, specifically those pertaining to family life. Again, Rav Kitov's beautiful style of writing infuses even the "least interesting" information with life and excitement, and this carries over into the translated version (The Jew and His Home) as well - a credit to the author as well as the translator.

He also wrote an extensive work on the Chumash and the midrashic, Talmudic and chassidic commentaries called Sefer HaParshiot, which I have heard is being translated into English.

My personal favorite books of his are the stories he wrote about the legendary Chassidic masters (Chassidim v'Anshei Ma'aseh), some of which has been translated into a two volume set Men of Piety and Deed. The first, In The Lion's Den focuses on the original students of the Ba'al Shem Tov and his disciple the Maggid of Mezrich, while the second volume (appropriately titled Sharp as a Needle) introduced us to the world of Peshischa and Kotzk. It is in these books that Rav Kitov's style flourishes beautifully. His poetic, loving language brings out the depth of each story and transports you into the Maggid's kloyz, as if you had the merit to sit in the shadow of their greatness. He is one of those authors that I envy, and can't get enough of.

Rav Kitov had a tremendous love for the Holy Land. It is said about him that he once received a visitor from the Diaspora who couldn't stop complaining about various things he saw in Eretz Yisrael. Rav Kitov quietly took him outside, grasped his arm and walked four paces together with the man. "One, two, three, four - a mitzvah!" he cried. He took another four paces, and repeated the same phrase, clearly showing the man how one is supposed to view his activities in the Holy Land - every step was infused with the holiness of the Land.

Rav Kitov leaves us with a special legacy, with works that can (and should!) be enjoyed by Jews of all levels of observance and give them a deeper appreciation for their status as the Chosen Nation.

Z'chuso Yagein Aleinu

It's starting to get really cold outside here in the Tri-State area, and I have always felt that some good music can get the juices flowing, and be a viable source of chizuk. Here's a small sampling of what I have playing lately on my iPod...


Bustan Abraham is a Middle Eastern ensemble that has had a rotation of members over the years, keeping their sound fresh and tight. Naor Carmi (who has recently been playing with Chilik Frank as part of the haLev v'haMaayan quartet) plays on this album.


What a beautiful rendition of a beautiful piyut. For some reason, I often find myself humming this niggun when going to the mikvah on erev Shabbos. Look at how intense the Rebbe was - vibrating with this quiet, pulsating energy waiting to burst forth...and when the levee breaks, he really gets into it.


Shivi Keller (aka Shirat Ha'Asavim or Ein Od Milvado) makes some of the most transcendent music that I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. If you're in the mood for an uplifting experience, Shivi's your man.


These guys are relatively new to the scene. I enjoy the music, but the rapping is kind of hit-or-miss. When the MC's flow is on, then he's great, but sometimes it just falls flat. Nagila is an old favorite of mine (I firmly believe that I was Sephardi in an earlier lifetime), and Shtar's version has some groovy bass to it...

Shmini Atzeres/Simchas Torah 5771 Retrospective I

What a chag!

For starters, this was the first time we ever stayed home for a chag, and I must say, I found it to be very enjoyable. My wife as usual really outdid herself and everything ran smoothly, and there is just something about being in your own home rather than transplanting yourself into another's - no matter how comfortable you feel in their home.

I had several interesting/uplifting experiences and observations over the course of the three day festivities that I'd like to share.

My family's minhag (custom) follows that of the Nusach Sefard/Chassidic way: on the first night of the chag, we no longer eat in the succah, and we have a truncated version of the hakafot. The next day, we make kiddush in the succah and return to the house for the rest of the meal. Where I live, there aren't many shuls that follow that minhag (i.e. the hakafot on the first night). I asked around, and someone told me about one shul nearby that was having a speedy version on the first night. I ran home to check in with my wife before going, just to make sure that all was good at the homestead. Apparently, the little ones were getting restless and we agreed that it would be wiser to take care of them and I would figure out what to do after we ate the seudah.

Luckily, I had anticipated this possible issue and had spoken to the rabbi of the shul where I pray. He agreed to show me where the keys to the Aron Kodesh (holy Ark, where the Torah scrolls are kept) were hidden in case I needed to return and do the hakafot there.

After the seudah, I let myself into the shul, where it was pitch black, save for the ner tamid (everlasting flame; usually a lamp suspended in front of the Aron) and an emergency light shining on the Aron.


Donning a tallit, I slowly chanted Atah Horaita LoDa'at as I unlocked the Aron and removed one of the smaller Torah scrolls, decked in the white mantle designed for the High Holy Days. Despite its size, the Torah was heavy, causing me to clutch it to my body that much tighter.

With care and deliberation, I proceeded through the slightly shorter version of the hakafot designated for Shmini Atzeret. While the initial feeling was awkward - singing aloud in an empty, darkened sanctuary, with vaulted ceilings that made my lone voice echo throughout the room - I soon began to get into it, losing sense of my surroundings.

The Torah of HaShem is perfect... I circled the bimah (altar), concentrating on attaching myself to Avraham Avinu (the patriarch Abraham) and resolving to rectify myself in the aspect of loving-kindness...

The testimony of HaShem is trustworthy... singing the niggun Simcha (joyous melody) of the Lubavitch Chassidim; in emulation of the characteristic of Yitzchak Avinu (the patriarch Isaac) I begged God to help me be strong in my service to Him, introducing a structured, systematic element to my service that would enhance it...

The orders of HaShem are upright...The Breslov "Ivdu es HaShem b'Simcha" (serve God with Joy) seemed an appropriate choice for Yaakov Avinu's (Jacob) hakafah - seeking harmony and shleimut (completion) in every aspect of Judaism no matter what the occasion calls for requires a healthy dosage of Joy ...

The command of HaShem is clear... I had an opportunity to use a niggun I learned that is reputedly one composed by Reb Kalonymos Kalman; from one shepherd to another, it felt right to sing it by Moshe Rabbeinu's hakafah...

The fear of HaShem is pure...I prayed to be considered one of the students of Aharon HaKohen (the High Priest Aaron) - loving peace and pursuing it, with my family, friends, and colleagues. Rebbe Shlomo's (technically Breslov's) Oz V'Hadar kept my feet moving on this one, though the time was certainly getting late, and my arms were getting heavier...

The judgments of HaShem are true...Picking up the tempo with a Bluzhever niggun, I focused on Yosef HaTzaddik's (Joseph the Righteous) resilience in the face of the most powerful, lurid of temptations - coupled with rock solid faith, it forms the foundation for living a lifestyle true to HaShem and His Torah design. If only I could learn from him when faced with my own obstacles!

They are more desirable than gold...Dovid HaMelech (King David) - the sweet singer of Israel, who described himself with the words "And I...am prayer," whose characteristic is the most pertinent one today, in this generation preceding the redemption. I try to find personal meaning in his words every day, and strive to connect to the thousands of words that we have incorporated into our daily prayers that were coaxed from his heartstrings. With the song "David, king of Israel, is alive and everlasting" on my lips, I asked God how long will it be before we witness the redemption, and will I be among those who will merit to see it?

What an experience! Those hakafot were truly transcendent, and when I was finished, my clothes were soaked through. Spent, I put the Torah away, locked up, and went home - dancing all the way.

Tune In, Tune On, Tune UP! (or, "FEEL the vibes...")

I have a weekly seder (study session) in Tzav V'Ziruz (Reb Kalonymos Kalman's "personal diary") that usually takes place on Shabbos morning before shacharit (the morning prayer). The sefer is unique in that it gives us an inside look on the inner workings of a tzaddik (righteous man), and allows us to see the effort, challenges, and even turmoil that your standard hagiography wouldn't allow.

Learning the sefer (in either language) is more often than not a visceral experience that breaks down the barriers of awkwardness and other defensive structures that people erect to shield their innermost feelings. It is by far one of the most inspiring seforim that I have had the z'chus (merit) to study. I learn one entry a week, and ruminate on what I can take out of it for the duration of the time, looking for ways to apply the lessons.

In one of the more emotionally charged entries that chronicles the rebbe's son's illness, recovery, and death a few years later, there is a passage that I found to be so stirring, I knew I had to share it:

Why can I not express my heart's rumbling in song and the flames of my soul in tune? Enough that we cannot see the visions of the holy prophets, but why are our very own souls beyond our ken? Our spirits are storming like myriads of singing angels, yet we remain deaf to it all. Sweet songs of God are singing within us, yet we remain unaware of it all. *

The rebbe's frustration is so palpable here, it's frightening. This idea that we have these powerful urges, ideas, burning passions for God roiling underneath the surface - dying for release, but lacking the ability to articulate them, to even recognize them for what they are - hits so close to home on so many levels. Too often I find that I lack the vocabulary - my own simply isn't sophisticated enough - to express myself in any medium - prose, poetry, or music.

On many occasions, I'll plug the tape cassette adapter in my car into my iPod and only get warbled sound and static. What I think is a terrible recording usually turns out to be the connector not being fully plugged into the jack. The moment that I push it in all the way, I get clarity, and a beautifully robust stereo experience.

That very problem is analogous to what Reb Kalonymos Kalman is opining, in essence: the music is there, but we simply aren't plugged in properly (an especially sobering thought is how often we believe that we are in fact plugged in the right way, and we miss the whole point entirely). That's part of our job on this existential plane - to make that connection, to figure out how to tap into that life-song that resonates through every fiber of our being, coaxing delicious strains of melody out of experience. The unfortunate reality is that we have created a cold world, a world that is seemingly barren of any vitality or vibrancy. A world where we seem distant - from each other, from our true selves and ultimately from God (God forbid).

At points throughout the amidah (the silent prayer) of Rosh HaShana, I found myself pausing for extended periods of time. Under the safety of my tallit I hugged myself as I tried to listen to the notes of my soul - clumsy, amateurish, childish as they may be - and I begged HaShem to allow me to feel - to feel His Presence in my life, to recognize His imprint on everything, to hear what my soul is so desperately trying to tell me. I prayed for this, and I prayed that everybody should merit this feeling as well...

* English courtesy of Rabbi Yehoshua Starrett's To Heal The Soul: The Spiritual Journal of a Chasidic Rebbe

Coronation

I could bear the greatest loads in the world

but the burden of my iniquities

weighs heavily upon me

bringing me to my knees

with a moan

I shrug this weight from my broken back

and gratefully shoulder the yoke of Your service

my hands grasp the gates of Your Kingdom

...let me in

hoping to travel

along the King's Highway

by way of Sixteenth Avenue

running alongside Your chariot

with the barefoot urchins

the blasts of the trumpets wash over me

their sounds pushing me, pulling me

as I am reminded

that the further I get from You

the closer to You I come

running into Your embrace

closing the circle

as I breathe You in

I remember Your mercy

as I feel Your rod

I thank You for Your justice

as You draw me into Your chambers

I recall our intimacy

and I dissolve in newfound love...

I hope that everyone had an uplifting Yom Tov. I have many things that I want to share from the past few days, but right now this brief expression of my feelings should do...