Monday, September 2, 2013

Breaking through

אין כח לקלוט את ההמון הרב של הצבעים הרבים אשר לשמש הגדולה הזאת המאירה לעולמים כולם, שמש התשובה

Someone who is unprepared to do teshuvah may be compared to a person who cannot see the light of the sun because he is wearing impenetrable lenses.
Alternatively, such a person may be compared to a shoot buried beneath the soil. While the rest of the world basks in the warmth and light of the sun, this shoot cries out "There is no sun. My entire life is enveloped in dirt!" 
But this bitter perception is wrong. 
Teshuvah is always present; however, a person must go forth to receive it. When a person does make the decision to change, he can receive the ever-present sunlight of teshuvah. - Rav Moshe Weinberger, Song of Teshuvah
This particular excerpt from Orot HaTeshuvah and the accompanying commentary by Rav Weinberger really hit home. More so than other years, I feel less "ready" for the upcoming Days of Awe. I know why, and I know what I have to do, but sometimes the lethargy and inertia is stifling, to the point of having this eerie sensation of being buried by my own issues. This can lead to despair, but knowing that I can bask in the warmth of the sun's glow if I just give even the tiniest push makes all the difference...

1 comment:

Neil Harris said...

You completely describe how I've been feeling since Shabbos night.

It is these next few hours that can make a difference. No matter if it's digging, pushing, or pulling there's a comfort in knowing that we are trying to be an eved.