Friday, January 18, 2008

Back to square one...

Well, I had a date last night.

It sort of snuck up on me; I knew that there was a possibilty that I would have a date with this particular girl, but I thought it would be next week. Instead, I got a call from my mother near midnight on Tuesday, telling me to be ready by Wednesday.

I don't want to sound like a nut, but I like having ample time to prepare for a date - certainly a first date - and having to do a million different things in order to ensure my readiness the day of the date itself?

It could be a recipe for disaster...

Take yesterday, for instance.

My car reeks like smoke. I don't mind the smell, so when the weather is particularily cold, I let guys sit in there and smoke. Now, usually, I have a few days in advance to make my car off limits, and I don't smoke in there either. Couple that with driving around with the windows open and a new air freshener, and the problem is solved. However, since I only found out a mere twenty hours or so before the date, and the fact that cold weather seems to make smells stay longer, I was at a loss for what to do.

Luckily, Karma Dude came to my aid. Apparently, some guy at a car rental agency once told him how to get rid of smoke smell in a car - when you're in a rush, and need something effective: Coffee. If you take any kind of coffee (even the freeze dried Sanka garbage), sprinkle it on the floor, and let it sit overnight, you're guaranteed to get rid of the car smoke smell. Karma Dude said that a quarter of a cup of plain dried coffee would do the trick; I wasn't taking chances, so I used a whole cup, liberally sprinbkled throughout the car.

The next day, I get in my car to go to Shacharis, and I take a deep breath. The place smelled like a freaking Starbucks. The smell of coffee was so overpowering, I got a caffeine jolt via inhalation.

I had to drive around with the windows open anyway, just to get rid of the coffee!

Fast forward to the date. After running around picking up my suit and shirts, shaving, getting a haircut, making myself spiffy, figuring out where to take her and trekking to where the girl lives, I am ready. I am Zen, I'm chilled, nothing can break my stride.

I charm her folks, and we skip out the door. I open her door for her, then go around to my side of the car. I first open the backseat door to place my hat on the back bench. As I do this I make small talk, and lean in to the car to adjust the hat so it doesn't get ruined or whatever, and slam the door shut. I thought I had enough clearance when I shut the door, but I guess not, because the edge of the door slammed me in the side of my nose. Hard. There was an audible crack - so loud, in fact, that I thought I had knocked my glasses off, but it was my nose, actually.

There's blood pooling in my hand. Not too much, but it's there. The girl's sitting in the car, oblivious to the going on's no 3 feet from her outside the car. I'm in agony; my eyes are teary and I want to scream. Trying to cover, I ball up a tiny piece of tissue and stick it up there, hoping to staunch the flow. I can't see my face in the window, I don't know if there're any cuts, and I don't want to let on what just happened.

I think I recovered nicely. I played it cool, and was very ginger with my nose. I eventually told her what happened, because she saw the little cut on my left nostril and asked.

Karma Dude taped me up after the date; it's not broken, but it still hurts, and I can't breathe without the tape.

And after all that? She said no to a second round. Go figure...


~ Sarah ~ said...

ow ow ow
hope you feel better soon.

now everyone knows you need preparation time before a date so never fear for the future. how about a 48 hour minimum rule?

Ezzie said...

OW. Wow. That's... horrible.

Shoshana said...

I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed with the chick for being so oblivious to you cracking your nose or for saying no to a second date. Anyone who can recover so quickly at least deserves a few more hours of time :) Have a good Shabbos!

jewmaican20 said...

Thanks for all the support...

I don't like to complain, but it's rough for any guy to date, really; I imagine that a girl's preparation is a delicate art, but if you think about it, we have to do everything else.
The girl gets picked up, but we do all the driving, we have to plan the "activities", etc. etc.
I guess it's a trade off for later in life...?

G said...

(on multiple levels:)

a dating girl said...

sorry about that.

i totally agree with you about the guys having a harder time/more responsibility with dating. we girls definitely do recognize that. therefore, i always think very carefully and speak to older and wiser people before turning a guy down and almost always agree to a second date. i figure if he's making all the efforts, i should try to give him a chance.

but yes, i would agree that this is a trade off for later in life...the girls definitely have a harder time with other things.

Bas~Melech said...

yowch. I'm really not into bloody stories... it's what made me change my mind about becoming a surgeon.

pleats said...

Ouch!! I was thinking that the bad part would be that you forgot to clean up all the coffee.

(Reminds me of the date where I choked on something and the guy- sitting right across from me- was totally clueless.)

jjl said...

i find it funny that all the comments are from girls on this posting

Reb Y. said...

As my mother would tell me after every 'parsha' there is ONE special girl waiting for you!
Hold on!

badforshidduchim said...

:-D That's got to be a classic.

nuch a chosid said...


a refuah shleima

and a good Zivug

soooooon! iy"h

Ehav Ever said...

Ouch! Sorry to hear about your nose. I hope you heal soon and fast. I am with you on having ample date time prep. Sometimes not having that ample time to prepare can also cause things to go bad. May your experiences in the future go more smoothly.