Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Confused...

Dreamer, as I promised. This is old stuff...

There were things I hoped I could tell you
things that you should have known
but for sins of the past, the interest will accrue
and I'm left to reap what I've sown

In this time of joy, I should relate
happiness that I really should share
I'm lacking closure, it seems like fate
and it's too late now, I fear

Tried patching things up, but it didn't work well
once, you were my best friend
now I'm stuck in this personal hell
and it feels like this is the end

Want to tell you how happy I am
but it feels so insincere
slipping through my fingers, you're like the sand
so hard to keep my eyes clear

Don't want to feel like I'm suffering a loss
and you're gone from me for good
but it's hard to tell my feelings who's boss
and put myself in a better mood

To suppress my emotions wouldn't help at all
for I'd have a vague sense that I lied
the higher I raise myself, the deeper I'll fall
and another part of me will have died

but I must move on, no matter the cost
it's the only way to stay sane
we're growing up, and you're not really lost
sometimes, in life there is pain

I can never feel there's no more time
as long as I breathe, there's a chance
we move along, towards our prime
for you, I will always dance

I'll remember all the good times we had
all the conversations, meaningful and deep
lifting each other up, when we were feeling sad
those memories will be mine, to keep.

9 comments:

Shoshana said...

Wow. Beautiful. You express your feelings extremely eloquently.

jewmaican20 said...

Thank you, Shoshana.
This is several years old, but Dreamer told me I had to post my stuff, so I'm following up on it...

Anonymous said...

good stuff!
is this connected to dreamer's story about a friend getting married?

The Dreamer said...

wow.
thanks for posting this...

lov this line - "the higher i raise myself, the deeper i fall"

i feel like that so often...

Reb Y. said...

In reality it's the other way,
The deeper i fall, the higher i raise.

The Dreamer said...

reb y - i know. usually.
it just feels so the opposite many a time, that i just don't feel like "getting high" because i'm just gonna fall way, way down...

David_on_the_Lake said...

Really heartfelt..

Its nice to see guys in touch with their emtions with the ability to express them as well..

tnspr569 said...

Very impressive.

As a bonus, you've been tagged.

http://howtomeasuretheyears.blogspot.com/2007/06/tagged.html

jewmaican20 said...

Anonymous - Thanks for the compliment. It's not really connected; I wrote this poem quite some time ago. But, in light of her recent posts, I felt that this poem would be the most appropos...
Dreamer - I thought you'd appreciate it.
Reb Y. - You're right, but sometimes it feels like there are more "valleys" than "peaks".
Of course, this makes the peaks all the more special and important..
Dave - Thanks. I'm glad you enjoy it. Same to you, by the by...
Tnspr569 - Thanks, man. glad you finally got around to the site. Look for a link to you in my linklist soon...