Thursday, February 7, 2008

The plot thickens...

Well, our fourth installment was today.

I picked her up at 2 in the afternoon, and had her back at a quarter to twelve. A whopping nine and three-quarter hours, and I must say that I'm exhausted.

The thing is, I can't sleep.

While our comfort around each other is growing (or at least, I think it is), after each subsequent date my fear of rejection intensifies that much more.

I start analyzing everything. I can't determine how much of myself to let her see, can't tell what the balance is between too much information and not enough. On the one hand, I want to share me, in all my me-ness. On the other hand, I'm afraid it will scare her away if it's too much too soon. She's so normal (that being a relative term, of course).

I'm staying honest about myself, open. I won't hide who I am and what makes me myself. I've never done it before, and I won't do it now. I'm not embarassed. But how do I get to that point where it can happen without it blowing up in my face?

8 comments:

~ Sarah ~ said...

just be yourself and enjoy and if it's meant to be, it's meant to be and no amount of analysing etc is going to make a diff!

Anonymous said...

what happened to all your sidlings advice?

Anonymous said...

*siblings

Big Daddy Jew said...

Mazel tov on finding a girl that you seem to connect with! She has probably already formed her opinion of you, so the fact that she's gone out with you 3 times indicates that she likes you too. Run with it, be honest, and be interested in her. Good luck!

Ezzie said...

What Sarah said. :)

Moe said...

if she gets to know you for what you are there is no way she WONT like you!!!!!
much love

jjl said...

she's gonna see it all eventually, might as well let her know what she's in for.

Anonymous said...

was this the one i discussed with you?? oh and i'm glad i can read this to keep up whats going on in your life!