Insomnia

This is a really old one...

The clock shows it's time
emitting a soft glow
I've been lying here for hours
yet the minutes pass so slow

If you stare into the darkness long enough
the blackness will take form
the images flood my imagination
far-flung, away from the norm

Try to think of relaxing things
that will possibly serve to soothe
my blanket is all rumpled;
the sheets no longer smooth

Is it for fear of sleep that I'm awake
afraid to lose myself
sickened by dreams that plague my soul
that disturb my mental health?

Or is it because I might not rouse
once I've succumbed to Morpheus' dust
an eternal sleep, forever unconcious
so awake I stay, I must?

I think over the day's happenings
examining the past events
could it be the discussions so innocent
were really malicious in intent?

Now I finally remember
what I've forgotten in the day
but when I need it, it's already gone
the memories slip away...

Replies that I could have used
only come to me in the black
when I need it, then it eludes me
when useless, it comes right back

My paranoia runs rampant
throughout the restless night
double meanings to every word
compliments only said in spite

Or is it my sins come to haunt me
to remind me of what I've done
tell me in my unrest there's no absolution
my inner battles never won?

Outside it begins to lighten
the world awakens to dawn
another day I must begin
always, I must move on...